Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Dating: This cat does not want to go phishing thanks.

Oh where do I begin... As you all know (as I have shoved it in your faces repeatedly) I am single and there are many, many reasons for this. And, as you all know I have ventured onto the dating scene, had one date which went well but not going to push something that didn't feel right, and been talking to many others.

Until, I met this one person, and I say person because suspicions were ringing out the minute the conversation started. If he (?) didn't feel they could be themselves to me then that is what makes me not want to know them.  I do not understand the need to pretend to be someone you are not. Ask the poor date I had, I literally laid bones on the table and said there, don't like it then hah! So why pretend to be someone you are not? I've watched Catfish and have seen where it can all lead.

I know there are people who just feel the need to lie, and they end up living some imaginary life where the lines between fiction and reality become blurred. Still, what is so wrong with being who you are?

The times are not like they used to be thirty-years ago. The Marty Mcfly of this era is seen as a trend now, the gamer who sits in the converted gaming room is someone to aspire to. The black hair and dark makeup that gives you your look doesn't send old people running across the road in fear anymore. I am me, a numpty and a prat at the best of times, but it's me. I have debts, I drive a car that has more disco warning lights than nuclear reactor, and I'm human. I burp (at the wrong times) and blow off (if i'm asleep I do wake myself to excuse it :s) but i'm me. I got hit by a car years ago and have a big scar on my forehead that turns to a lump when i frown - I just tell people my brains too big to fit in my head. But, I don't have to look at it, so if others have an issue, they can look away.

I don't want to have to put pictures in to google image search to check that a person is who they say they are. Life's too short for having to worry about all that. Still, I don't think i'll be one of the lucky to meet a partner on the sites, so i'll go back to meeting at the pub or in town.

I say that now, but what will i tell you all about if i did haha?
Watch this space.

Friday, 22 July 2016

Writing a synopsis and sticking pins in eyes comes to mind

OK, to clarify I of course mean sticking pins in my own eyes, not just randomly running up to someone in the street and attacking them with implements from my sewing box. No, I genuinely would rather gut myself than have to write this... But I've done it anyway.

Now, there are some agents who want a full synopsis consisting of no more than 4 pages, and then there are others who want no more than 500 words. Meh (my brain gags at the thought) if I could keep things under 500 words than I'd be writing short stories too.
1) Pick out key points... My whole book is key points.
2) Convey character emotions... In 500 words are you joking?
3)Don't lose the plot - Did that years ago.

So, after a short break away visiting family and friends, and a painfully long journey back on the M6 (which is another story), I sat down and began.
I started by writing the synopsis as Girl meets boy, boy does this, girl does this, boy screws up etc. I then changed boy and girl to the characters names, and then worked on it until something somewhat decent was left. That was 487 words. A few people have read it over and they have said it can be cut more. More? Would a synopsis of 'They meet, they fight, and then the twist..' suffice? I have read so many blogs, authors, writers and more on this subject, and still it seems to be down to one thing - Sitting down and just doing it.

I have also created a spreadsheet of Agents to send submissions to, using the Writers and Artists yearbook 2016. If I can get just one asking for a full MS out of the 10 or so I'm submitting to, then i'll know I've done something right. Otherwise, I'll just try and try again. Beats sitting on my butt scratching my head and picking my nose anyway.

If what I have written is any good, then I will of course share with you what I have done, but if it's pants and ends me in the round file then I wouldn't want anyone facing the same fate through my own errors. Instead I will write a what not to send, kind of like what not to say on a first date post.

Will keep you all updated on the progress...


Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Things not to say on a date - no idea why i'm sharing this...

I recently started dating again, after a few years of being single. And, it wasn't for lack of trying nor was it that I'm labelled 'reject' and been left on the shelf. No, it was more to do with the fact that as we get older we get nervous, worried about all the things that didn't matter when we were teenagers. Meeting people seems to be harder as we get older, now i'm only 31...but still it's harder. So anyway i joined Match.com - and wow it's expensive. But I have met many walks of life through it. Sometimes i think people join just to talk to someone, which i'm more than happy to do.
Being single doesn't suck that badly, if anything i'm so used to my own company that i have developed a masculine side. I can plaster, paint - laid a concrete base and laid a patio, flat-packs i love to hate...The list is endless, but does that emasculate men to make me less appealing? I was so used to being single I actually down-graded my bed to a small double lol. After making new friends on these sites, some who will never shake me because i'm annoying like The Flu, I (and a few coerced friends) joined Plenty of Fish. I deleted it after about two hours. What are people thinking when they type things out? Trust me, crude innuendo (and i know my innuendo) isn't a great chat up line.

Maybe forcing things, romance, isn't the way to go. It's like London Bus Syndrome - When you want one, there's none to be seen, and then when you don't want one they all come at once.
Meh, it's all so hard...kissing a new person, worrying about them seeing all your lumps and bumps with the lights on...do they snore? Will i sleep with my mouth open and dribble? How and why do we put ourselves through this?

My friend, married for years, said, "I don't think i could do it." I agree with her, I don't think i can do this. For a fact, my brain and my mouth have a very different Idea of what is acceptable to say.

Things not to say on a date: And yes I've said them! All of them!
"I was told Ikea made Kia cars."
"I'd love to go to the country Australasia for holiday."
"Once i was so drunk, i was sick and i blew off at the same, didn't realise my BF was behind my bum." - Multitasking or what!?!
"Sorry i keep playing with my hair, i'm trying to be lady-like."

Lol, I'm not embarrassed by the things I've done. Nor do i regret them. Sure I do regret telling people those things across a dinner table. That moment when they realise 'What the hell have i agreed to?'

Maybe I need to go on a How-to-date course or something. The problem is I can be very open. Too open. (Not that open, tut-tut).
Oh i don't know, I just hope there are others out there who have said or done similarly embarrassing things so i don't feel like the only one. Then again being unique maybe isn't all that bad?

Sorry for rambling ha!

Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Shoe Size 4, so I will act that way just for an hour or two...

Whilst working on book 4 of The Play Series, I became distracted, thanks to snapchat. The saying act your age not your shoesize, well my feet are a size 4 and I'm happy with that.

Today's work went something like this...

Then this...

Which resulted in me uploading it, now if you've ever looked at my Facebook author page, my Twitter or Instagram you'll know I have never been hip and down with the kids! I have never put my selfies up for people to see and the above is why, but today I did...

And then there was more I was just having a ball all on my own hahaha...

 rocking this look

Okay i really want a husky!

 Sultry look which was supposed to be evil i guess?!?

Okay craziness over... no more posing today - though I do need to sort out some kind of 'Authorish' picture. But where's the fun in that?

I'm not always in fantasy land when writing, sometimes, you just have to engage with your inner juvenile-self that is screaming to have fun

Oh and...FYI I have a jumper i slob around in when i'm working and IT IS CLEAN, i just wear/wash/wear/wash so you'll see me in it ALOT!!

Hope your day was as fun as mine!

#FREE #EBOOK on #KINDLE The Play Series

Hey everyone, sorry I have been away for a week or two. Watchers, the book i was writing has actually gone through a massive overhaul and has changed, as i said it might. Anywhooo... Play the Ace was launched 2 days ago, and it's reception has been mind blowingly amazing! I can't thank you enough for all the support and encouragement i have received. That being said, I am giving the first book Play me Away, away for free for the next 5 days. So grab your copy, maybe shelf it until you have time to read, but please review it after. I don't mind if you hate it, let's face it, it's like a steak and everyone like's theirs done differently.

Click the link and read at your leisure. 

Thank you all

P.S Watchers will be resuming next week.
P.P.S It will read completely differently so you may want to watch for the first chapters re-release

Thank you :-)

Friday, 24 June 2016

What is this poem about? Winner receives...

What is this poem about? The winner/s will receive the acknowledgement that there are no flies on them, and they are the winners of this one off not actual- competition... answers to @ntaylortdt on Twitter. Good luck!

Watchers Chapter Four


Chapter Four

“Good morning!” Rhianne called cheerily, and opened Ciana’s curtains. “Time to wake up.”
From beneath the covers and pillow Ciana murmured, “Go. Away!”
“Come on Cici, it's a beautiful day out there. RJ has already gone out to investigate. Why don't you go join him?”
Ciana sat up “What did you say?”
Rhianne laughed, and looked at her strangely, “RJ has gone out to investigate.”
Flashes of the nightmare started to ripple through Ciana’s mind. “I had the strangest dream, well it was a nightmare and you said nearly the same thing.”
“Well then, it's fate. Come on, I let you lay in but it's nearly 10.”
Dragging herself out of bed she said, “Yes. I'm up, I'm up.”
“Only a few more days until school starts, and you need to get into a routine now.”
“Yeah,” Ciana stretched out. “Wait what?”
“School starts on Tuesday, and it is Saturday.”
“What the...really? How come?”
Rhianne placed more boxes in her room. “We have been packing all summer, so it’s gone really fast. Anyway did you get I tough with everyone last night?
Ciana hadn’t realised how fast the time had gone. “No. There's no signal or Internet!”
“Ah. I must admit I didn’t notice any cell towers. Well, while we wait to get connected in the house, maybe you can see if the library in town has Internet?”
“Yeah maybe.” Ciana grimaced when she noticed the box that she had packed up had been moved back in. “Where's dad?
“He's gone into the factory to meet everyone. He should be home about 3. Just in time for dinner.”
Inside Ciana cringed. It was no secret her mum couldn't cook, yet still she tried and every night the three had to force feed themselves whatever had been made. And, they had to pretend to like it.
“I'm doing a sausage and cabbage casserole.”
“Oh,” Ciana smiled with a bleary eyed look. “That actually sounds really nice.”
“I know!” Rhianne grinned back. “I just have to pop into town to see if they have any sausages, otherwise it’ll be a surprise.”
Ciana gagged, “I hope they have sausages then!”


Five streets all leading off this main road, and all filled with the same style house. Still Ciana could see no other signs of life. There wasn’t even any sign of Creepy Malcolm after yesterday’s welcoming party. She moseyed on out of the estate and down the main road. Though it was classed as a main road, there was no traffic and nothing but flat fields lying either side of it. Ciana carried on walking until she came to what looked like some small cobblestone building. Slowly she walked into it, thinking that maybe it was the remains of something else. On the far wall there was a list, and on closer inspection she realised it was a bus timetable.
“A little posher than the plastic covered bus stops back,” she stopped herself, and took a breath, “in my old home.”
Ciana took a closer look at the bus times, but the closer she looked the less sense the chicken scratches, that were supposed to be the times, made. She stepped out, and looked the building over again. Now she knew what it was the old remains now looked like a pretty little hut. No weeds were growing around the frame and the brick building hadn’t been touched by a can of spray paint.
“Nice,” she muttered.
A car zoomed past. It travelled down the road so fast that it nearly took the corner on two wheels. Ciana thought if there were other people living in this place she may as well see who they are, as they seem to be the only neighbours. She hurried along the road and turned off, following where the car had gone. She stopped. She was on the main high-street of LittleBridge.
For a town centre it was pretty empty, but then, there were hundreds of empty homes so Ciana wasn't that surprised. She wondered along looking at the shops. There once was a butchers, the windows now smeared with dust and grime. At the end of the street was a waterfall and beyond that a large house that had long since fallen into disrepair.
Ciana peered through the dirt smeared window and could see most of the outside had begun growing inside, and around all the counters that still remained. Next was a bakery, a pharmacy and many more little shops. All of which had gone the same way. The shops had been closed a long time, in some cases years more than others. There was one frozen food shop that was still open, a post office which too was still in operation and then a funny little shop. The car Ciana had followed was parked outside, and a lady dressed in bright colours dashed from her car back into the shop. Her skirt was a bright purple, and over it she wore a long green waistcoat. 
“This weird little town just got stranger,” Ciana whispered. She watched the lady running back and forth from her car, carrying things into the shop. She was quite happy hugging the wall and not being noticed yet. She didn’t want to become the new sideshow in town. 
Ciana cringed, her cover had been blown and the oddly dressed lady heard Rhianne call. It wasn't hard, there was no one else around. With a smile at Ciana the lady locked her car and rushed into her shop. The little bell rang as the door closed.
“Cici?” Rhianne called again. Ciana turned and watched her mum run towards her across the road. “You have come out to look around! Met anyone?”
“No, mum, I've only just got here.” She followed her mum to their car which was parked the other side of the strange little shop. “I found a bus stop, but there seems to be no signs of the buses stopping here.”
“Well, they better,” Rhianne laughed. “That's where you'll be getting the bus to school.”
“Fingers crossed they won't stop then.”
In the window of the little shops were dark curtains, but many coloured trinkets and hanging things sat in view. The colours all turning and glistening in the window had really caught Ciana’s eye
“I got a real feast in for tonight.”
“Right,” Ciana wasn't really listening.
“I'm think of still doing the casserole but maybe something else in it. It’s so cute here, the lady who runs the grocery store also runs the Postoffice, she has a little door from one shop to the next.” Rhianne chuckled to herself, “Though I don’t think she’s too busy. But, you never know, maybe as more people move in I could get a job here?”
“Yup.” There was one thing in the window Ciana couldn’t stop looking at. It looked like a spider web in a circle with feathers and beads.
“Right, so I'll see you back at home?”
Ciana brought herself too, “Yeah sure, that sounds good. I'll see you back there.”
“Okay. Oh did you find your brother?”
“No. I'll look for him on the way home.”
“That’s fine, I think he went to check out the old ruins.”
“Yeah yeah, that’s fine.” Ciana had already drifted towards the shop. She opened the door and the little bell rang alerting everyone to her presence. She stepped in and over a white line that ran along the door frame where she was instantly confronted by a curtain of beads.
There was a smell in the air, it was a dusty smell. Ciana fought her way through the beads and found herself in a very dark little shop. Shelf upon shelf held more items that sparkled and glistened in the little bit of light that came in. She spotted more of the things she had seen in the window. She wondered towards them, browsing the shelves as she passed. Hanging on the wall was a purple web that had pink and purple feathers coming off it. She smiled as she looked at it, she had no idea why she smiled she just did.
She outstretched her hand to touch it when someone spoke.
“Pretty isn't it?”
Ciana snatched her arm back and smiled, “Yes. What is it?”
“It's a dream catcher.” The wildly dressed lady stood next to her and explained, “Some believe it catches all your dreams, and then only letting the good ones through.”
“I could do with that,” Ciana laughed. “Had a weird one last night.”
The lady smiled. “Are you visiting?”
“No,” Ciana couldn't hide the regret in her voice. “No, we've moved into Third Avenue.”
“Oh,” the lady shifted a little. “I hadn't realised they were moving people into those houses...just yet. Anyway, I'm Lucy and this is my shop.”
“It’s a very pretty shop, and filled with the most…strangest things. I'm Ciana.”
As soon as Ciana said her name Lucy seemed to choke a little. “That's a pretty name,” Lucy tried to cover her shock. “When did you move in?”
“Yesterday,” There was an awkwardness between them now.
“You haven't ventured out too much then?”
“Nope, here is the first place. I was actually looking for my brother. Knowing him he's probably down at those ruins we saw on the way in. Ciana grimaced, “I should probably go and get him...”
“No!” Lucy shouted. “Sorry, it's just that erm I doubt he'd be there. Lydia, the lady who lives there, doesn't like children playing around the ruins. They're dangerous. So I doubt he's there, well I hope he's not. She can be...aggressive.”
“The lady?”
Lucy nodded. “I would stay away from there. You’re new and I don’t want you getting into trouble on your first day.”
“Okay...well I should get going,” Ciana started to back out of the store.
“Wait!” Lucy rushed to follow her. “Please take this,” She thrust a dream catcher into her hands.
“I can't,” Ciana chuckled and tried to hand it back. “I haven’t got any money.”
Lucy refused to take it back. “It's a gift from me. Think of it as a welcome to the town, plus after last night’s dream this should help.”
“Please, Ciana, come back I'm always here and always happy for a chat. There's not many people here so a friendly face is always nice to see.”
“Sure. Thanks again.” She backed out of the shop and hurried away.
Lucy stood by the door and shouted, “Hang it directly over your bed, over your head!”
Ciana turned slightly and waved with a little smile. Through gritted teeth she muttered, “Seriously I have to live here?”
She stopped next to the old butchers and looked at the dream catcher. It was pretty and much bigger than the others she'd looked at. This one had three little dream catchers hanging from the larger one. She went to head home when she heard something. She edged towards the side of the butchers and she could see someone standing in the alley. It sounded like a girl as she talked to someone else, but there was no one there just the shadows.
"I heard," the girl said and no one replied. She turned suddenly and stared at Ciana.
“Erm...Hi?” Ciana smiled.
The girl looked back at the shadow then stormed towards the street, barging into Ciana as she went.
“Sorry,” Ciana said. “I wasn't...”
“Just don't,” the girl hissed and carried on walking until she got to Lucy's shop where she went in.
The girl had dark black hair. It was shaved one side except for a bit by her ear that matched the remaining length. Her makeup was dark, thick black rings lined her eyes and her lips matched too. Even her clothing was dark and tight fitting.
“Wow,” Ciana sighed. “With people a friendly as this, no wonder the town is dead!”

It was still warm, and it wasn't much past lunchtime. With any hope as soon as she got home her dad would be there. If this house was as cheap as they said, then maybe they could send her home to stay with a friend. Who needed holidays?
The town was flat, and you could see far across the fields where there were no trees, but there were more trees in this town than houses and definitely more trees than people. If she turned right at the main road then she would head home, but left was the ruins. Where RJ would most likely be causing mischief.
Ciana turned left. All she knew was that there was a strong chance she would be confronted by some crazy old woman who wielded a frying pan or broom at kids. Either way, there was a strong possibility RJ would be antagonizing the poor thing.
The ruins were just about visible from the road, most of the hedges had grown tall enough to cover it, but there was one patch that was empty, showing off the old brick. Ciana peered through the gap and could see the cemetery and some of the building. In the distance was the little house she had been warned about.
“How are you supposed to get in?” She wondered. There was a large ditch either side of the hedge and there was no way she would be able to get through that way. She walked on a little further and found a large metal gate. The same kind that keeps animals in the field. The track beyond was really overgrown with brambles, stinging nettles and hedges that were wildly out of control. she couldn't see any forms of life.
“She really doesn’t want visitors, that’s pretty clear. RJ?,” She called quietly.
Lucy was adamant that she did not go in, and she wasn't going to. She just hovered around the old metal gates trying to see down the lane.
“RJ?” She growled again.
The wind whipped up around her, blowing dust down the lane towards her. She turned away so as not to get it in her eyes and saw an old man standing across the road. He was just staring at her, with his hands on his old-fashioned bike. Ciana didn’t want him to think she was going to break in, so she lifted her hand and waved slowly. The man waved back. Suddenly from down the lane came a scream. Ciana spun around.
“RJ?” She panicked and tried to push the gate open. It was caught on the thick branches of the hedges. She turned to ask the man for help, but he'd gone. “Argh! RJ you pain in the...” she throttled the gate back and forth trying to release it, but it wouldn't budge. She knew she had no choice and climbed over, the wind picking up even stronger. She landed both feet on the ground and slowly tried to fight her way through the undergrowth. Her jumper snagged on everything and she kept having to turn and pull it free. The lane turned around a bend and the hedges closed up, leaving very little sign of her being able to get through.
“RJ you little...” she ducked to avoid a wildly swinging stinging nettle. “Get out here now!”
There were no sounds echoing back, it was like the scream she had heard earlier hadn't even happened. She spun around, shouting his name. Panic was starting to set in.
The growth was so thick that she wasn't sure which way she was heading anymore. Her jumper snagged on something, and she pulled at it while she tried to work out which way she had come from, but everything looked the same. She turned to unhook it but she wasn't looking at the thorns of an overgrown weed, she was staring at the off white razor-like teeth that belonged to a huge dog. It had her jumper and was snarling wildly at her.
She couldn't scream, only a little yelp escaped her lips as she tried to pull herself free. The dog growled, and snarled. It was salivating. Ciana clumsily pulled at the knot around her waist, trying to free herself.
The dog shook its head with the jumper in its mouth, ripping it to shreds. She began to back up when she heard more rustling from in front of her. Two more large beasts joined in the hunt, and they were ready to kill her.
She should have listened. Lucy warned her it was dangerous to go down here. But what if RJ was down there? Was he lying hurt somewhere?
“RJ?” She screamed, but there was still no reply.
The dogs started to advance, closing in on her. They let the thorns and spikes brush their coats and faces without a flinch, but Ciana’s arms were getting caught and ripped to shreds.
“Nice dogs! She whispered with a shaky voice. She tried kicking sticks in an attempt to distract them but nothing worked. She still had no idea if she was going the right way.
She stumbled over a branch, falling backwards. The dream catcher fell beside her, but she was so scared she hadn't noticed. The dogs growled at each other as if they were talking, then one dog snapped at her foot. Ciana scooted backwards as fast as she could until she was completely snagged on the brambles.
Someone stepped out into the lane with her, he appeared from in the hedges and he stood with his back to Ciana, guarding her from the dogs.
“Close your eyes!” He ordered over his shoulder.
“What...why?” She screamed, still pulling her feet out of their reach.
“Just do it!”
The wind picked up again, so much dirt blew in her eyes that she had to close them tight, and turn her head away from the sudden gale.
There was a loud noise, and the wind rushed past her, the dogs were squealing and yelping, the boy made no noise. She couldn't tell if they were hurting him or if he was hurting them.
“What’s going on?” She tried to call out, but the noise was too loud. Then as suddenly as it started it stopped.
“What the hell are you doing down here?” Ben growled very uncaringly.
“I heard a scream! My brother, I came to check he wasn't playing in the ruins.” She wiped her eyes, and managed to open them to see the boy kneeling down in front of her. He looked angry. “I'm sorry,” she stuttered. “I didn't mean to come in, but I was worried about my brother.” She became affronted, “Anyway, there should be signs saying there are mental guard dogs on patrol!”
Ben snorted, and held out his hand to help her up. “Are you okay?”
Refusing to take his hand she picked herself up and looked over the cuts in her arms and clothes. “Yeah I'm fine.” She wiped herself down. “I really do need to check my brother is okay.”
“He's not here,” Ben said.
“How do you know?”
“Because I live here, and he didn't come down.”
“Hang on I was told an old lady lived here, and where did you come from?”
“That's my...aunt. I was working in the field when I heard you scream.”
Ciana couldn't stop staring at Ben’s blue eyes. They were such a bright and vivid blue. Then again the town was so dull anything colourful stood out. She suddenly realised they were walking and she was back by the gate.
“What did you do to the dogs?”
“I just scared them away that's all.” Ben started to pull the gate. It opened with ease. “Next time, don't trespass. It's dangerous around here and you might get hurt.” Ben had backed her out back onto the road, and was closing the gate.
“Yeah sure,” she replied confused. “Sorry. And, thanks for helping.”
Ben half smiled at her and waved her off.
“Ciana!” RJ called.
She turned to see RJ riding towards her. “Oh,” she looked back for Ben but he'd gone. “Where the heck have you been? I nearly got mauled to death looking for you!” She growled.
“Huh?” RJ was confused. “I found this in our garage along with a car! So I've been out riding all day.”
“A car?” She asked
RJ nodded. “Who were you talking to?”
“I, err, no one.” She glanced at the lane and there was no one there, no dogs and no boy that had just saved her.
“Found a new boyfriend?” he laughed.
“Hardly!” She snapped and hit his arm. “I thought I heard you in there. It was so weird, someone screamed and I went to help, but there were these massive dogs. They were trying to kill me!”
“Mum and dad won’t move back, no matter what you tell them.”
“Give over you plum, I’m not lying! Look at my arms.” Ciana walked at the side of RJ as he slowly cycled along. “Have you seen any other kids around?”
“No, but I have found some really cool stuff. Seriously, the stuff that comes with the house is amazing. It's like a dream come true!”
“Dreams!” She looked down and realised it had gone. The dream catcher she was given by Lucy must have fallen somewhere back there. No doubt those dogs would have eaten it out of spite.
“Lost something?”
Ciana nodded, “A gift someone gave me in town.”
“There are other people living here?” He snarled, “Oh man! I thought I’d be the king of this place!”
“I don’t think so,” She laughed.